Before going to graduate school, when I first imagined working as a child and family therapist, I was uncertain what therapy for children would actually look like. I think this is true for most of us; when we are inexperienced with the therapy process, our impressions are often taken straight from the media, with a zen-like therapist sitting across from a distressed adult who may or may not be laying on a couch, enumerating their struggles. How exactly does an active five year old fit into this picture?
Whether or not the zen-like therapist and the couch is an accurate picture of adult counseling, effective child therapy looks pretty different. It can be loud, active, and messy. It is often filled with music, movement, sand, art, and toys.
The efficacy of play therapy is based in neuroscience. The left side of the brain, responsible for logical decision making and linear thought isn't fully developed until adulthood; whereas the right side, responsible for emotions, and creativity is well developed at birth. Play therapy takes direct advantage of this natural brain development, allowing children to tap into their creative, emotional side to heal. We call play the language of children, because it is exactly that: their innate way of thinking, communicating, and being in the world.
There are many, many types of play therapy- all of which tap into play as a child's greatest strength. For example, in directive forms of child counseling, like Autplay TM, I introduce the child to a number of playful activities and games that teach skills the child may be struggling with. They may blow bubbles to work on body and breath awareness, role play dealing with peers using puppets, or draw a picture of how it feels in their body to be angry. This can be enormously beneficial for a child with autism or ADHD who needs help with regulating emotions and social skills, or for a child who recently experienced a trauma and struggles to calm their nervous system.
In more non-directive play therapy, the child is 'in charge' of the session. They are able to play however they choose, and through this play I am able to gain a greater understanding of their inner world. I have had clients come into session and pull out the dolls and act out scenes of bullying at school, or dump every single toy I own into the sand tray, giving me a clear picture of their inner chaos and overwhelm. As the child plays out how they feel in the world, I am able to give them language for their emotions, model self-regulation skills, and provide a safe space to explore frightening or upsetting experiences. This can help heal trauma, depression, anxiety, and aid in big life transitions like a move or the death of a loved one.
Both the directive and non-directive play therapy I practice at the Relationship Center of Conifer speak to the fully developed right side of the child's brain, while helping strengthen and grow the left side, so that my child clients are more integrated, confident, and resilient moving forward.