Today was the first day of school for my eldest kiddo. It’s his second year in preschool, and overall the transition was smooth. He was hesitant early in the morning, talking about wanting to stay home and missing us when he is gone- but after empathizing with him for a bit, he cheerfully popped into his old classroom, eager to visit the book corner.
I think about how emotional this time of year is for so many of us. The schedule changes alone can wreak havoc on our systems. For myself, there’s a wild mix of relief at being down to only one kiddo at home in the mornings, grief at no longer having my eldest with me, fear of losing control over his environment, nostalgia over my own first days…I know that for so many other parents, kiddos, and teens it can be filled with trepidation, anxiety, overwhelm, and maybe excitement too.
I remind myself often that all of those responses are ok. It’s ok that I’m relieved that my eldest son is out of the house- and that I miss him- and that I’m sometimes guilty that I’m relieved. All are true. It’s ok that he would rather stay home, and that he’ll probably enjoy himself once he’s there. Both are true. I try not to resist any of the reality of the experience- his or mine. When he told me this morning, “I want to stay home”, if I had said, “No, you don’t! You’ll have so much fun!” he’d have fought me more. He needs to know that it’s valid to be nervous starting over somewhere. Feeling that validated opens up the possibility of maybe being happy too.
Whatever your response is to the beginning of the school year, breathe it in. I love the seasonal shift from summer to fall- how blue the sky looks, how the leaves are still green but the grass has turned brown, and the fact that even though it’s 92 degrees outside right now, there was a hint of crisper days to come this morning. If you love this time of year, take time to revel in it. If every part of you just wishes it was over- that’s ok too. Pay attention to your breath, and let yourself know that no matter how you’re feeling- you’ve got this.